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Guess that's what I am now. Didn't even realize it until now. I only eat fruit(watermelon&cantolope cubes),pickles,coffee,tea,and water. Wow. It feels good not to eat. Whenever I have that thought of food or I smell it I just stare at my tummy thinking hoooow small its gotten over the past week&how much smaller it will get. Keeps me away from the greeeease. I weighed myself this morning. Down to 200. Then I weighed myself a few hours later after pissing like a horse like 198. Hells yea. By the end of the week I should be halfway or at my 1stgw. How excited^_^. TT <3333

She's such a douche to me. Im pretty sure its because I don't kiss her ass. Fuck her. She pulls me into the office with the dept. Manager and tells her im the only one who can't pull her weight around here. That she can tell who's been there the night before when she gets there in the morning. Apparently I don't do anything in the dept. I don't zone or clean or anything and I call bullshit. I walk around that goddamn dept. All fucking day. There's never anything on the floor when I leave. We stay open until 12. I leave at 930,10,or 11. I have no fucking control over asshole customers who leave shit all over. Fuck u man. Fuck u. I never complain about the shit she does. Fuck her I hope she fucking dies... slow&very painfully. Fuck her. Fucking bitch. In other news...4cups coffee-0,4 oz of oj-60,a milllion cigs-o. Walked 1 mile. Did aerobics 10 min. Im whipped and annoyed. Almost down to 200. Thankgod

Been doing really good with restricting. My shirts fit looser^_^. Haven't heard from mike in..2 weeks and I haven't put any effort into speaking to him either so fuck it. Being in a relationship is not what I thought. Things were way better when I just wanted sex. And more sex. There were never any un-answered txt or phone calls. I cried on my birthday. I was just overwhelmed with.. Everything. The weird thing was that none of it was ED related. Ehh. My stats:

5'8
Cw-204
Hw-270
Lw-180
1stgw-190

2 cups of coffee w/splenda
2 diet lipton teas
16oz of water
4 cups airpopped popcorn

60 min. Dance dvd

I hate being around this fucking food allday. I hate seeing these tiny girls running around here with their fucking -00000 jeans that I know my huuge 45 in. ass is never gonna fit into. Good god its driving me insane. I need drugs:(. I miss drugs:,(. They were my meals.
Breakfast-coke
Lunch-5 jiggs
Dinner-coke
Snack-lorcets or bars
I got down to the 180. I know that's not small but for me that was amazing. Smallest I can remember being. My gut didn't stick out,my ass was nice,idk I was happy. Now im a jiggly piece of shit. I hate how my stomach and arms ripple when I walk. Its disgusting. IM disgusting and I don't know how mike touches me and not throws the fuck up. Im not eating tomorrow. Or the next day. I am drinking wine tuesday but no solids. I WILL get down to 190 by this weekend coming up. Idk anymore. I have enough fat to last for a good fucking while. when I reach 180. Shoppppping:)..

Im over the walking dvd I have. I think because its just.. Walking. I mean we kick and move our arms but its boring. I didn't get bored this fast when I had tae bo. I have no clue where it is now:(. So tonite I bought a dance workout dvd.^_^. Yipeeeee. Im gonna do it tonite. I haven't worked out on purpose in 4 months. I need it

I wanted mcdonalds. Not because I was hungry but just out of habit. I wanted like 50 cheeseburgers. I stopped myself tho. So proud^_^.
Tadays consumption: (so far)
3 cups of coffee w/splenda
1 bottle of diet tea
I 1/2 cups of watermelon
I don't think I've had any cals and if watermelon has any im sure its negative ones. We have olive garden at home. A ton:\. I don't really want any im just scared im gonna go crazy on it because its there. Im going to weigh myself monday. I wanna be shocked at how much I've lost ahahaa

Goodness me im gonna be 20. Big woop. Ahaa im kind of over celebrations and my parents wanted to take me out. I quickly declined. Im not gonna kill my birthday doing that. I know they're going to get a cake but I've lost my taste for cakes so im sure im not going to eat it. I bought the special k water and some fiber choice chew tablets. Those are huge ass pills. Like silver dollar sized and taste weird but they're ok. I hiiighly recommend phillips colon health capsules. Im in love with fiber^_^. Every since that hospital trip I've been eating as much as possible. That was a scary event. Well im almost home and that ambiens screeeeeeaming my name^_^. Im comin babe ahaa. Im lame.
Peeeeeace

You can't consume more than 15g of fat a day or ur arrrse is going to leak. Ahaa scary. Im on the diet aisle at work.
AGAIN.
Im going to get the Special K protein water. It has 5 grams of dietary fiber too!!
5. That's good mann. Ok wth. You're kind of dumb if you get the pack of 4 waters like in a bottle for 4.98 when the packs that you pour are 4.98 for 10:\. Walmarts insane. Slimfast are beyond disgusting. And it bothers me that they're in a can. Its like milk. In a can. Idk im weird with certain things and I get naushous really fast from stuff like that. I LOVE snickers marathon bars. They're waaay better than snickers. Especially the multi grain crunch. Yummm^_^

Feels amazing. Haven't done that in a year or 2. I think ill do it tomorrow. Longest I went was 3 days. Wooo I can't wait. Been sippin tea allday. Shhhmokin my teeny tiny cigs. I wuuuvs em^_^. Gosh work is boring. I did the whole dept. In 15 min. I get off at 11:\. Geez. Ambien waitin for me when I get home. So excited. Laters

Just thinking of things I can binge on and feel good about getting it all up:
-Cheese burgers from mcdonalds(only theirs)
Chicken nuggets(mcdonalds only)
-salads
-fruit(I know its good for u but I still throw it up sometimes)
-Subway
-Potato wedges from work

Meats come up so good^_^

I really can't
I plan on actually sticking to my fast
I totally screwed this one up
Its impossible for me to stick to things on the weekend for some reason
So tomorrow is a go fo shoo
I might excercise tonite if I can't steal an ambien or trammy from mum
Insomnias a betch
peeeeace

I found this site
A clothing store
Allmost all of the clothes are one size and its motivating me
To lose weight so I can get adorable
Awesome clothes.
That sites pretty much my porn now

Zipia.net